little gestures

Before we had a second child, it seemed like most people with two or more kids would always talk about how different their children were from each other. And truly, it is amazing how different two offspring can be....from the same genetic materials!

Lately, though, I've marveled at some little details that make me feel like I'm back in rowan's infancy.

exhibit #1: the thighs. oh, those thighs! i squeeze them with regularity....my hand doesn't even fit around their widest part anymore. Rowan had a very similar body to Piper. Their faces (and their hair) are as different as can be...but their 6 month old bodies, so much the same. I love the heft of a 6 month old on my hip. Lurching here and there, so strong really, but still so portable. Sitting up with some degree of confidence on those sturdy, meaty thighs.

exhibit #2: the full-body excitement about eating real food. Legs kicking, arms flailing, short breaths in-and-out, in-and-out....I remember this well. I just wish Rowan still got this excited about sweet potatoes, peas, and bananas.

exhibit #3: the "mamamamamama." Piper's favorite syllable. I looked back in Rowan's baby book and in her sixth month...I had written down that she was constantly repeating "mamamama." I secretly like to believe that it is directed towards me, but I know better. It's just an easy sound to make....but both my girls have made it with gusto, in their sixth month.

exhibit #4: the fake cough. Joe plays this little game with Piper where he fake coughs, she mimics him, and then he rewards it with some fabulously excited gesture or surprised face. Piper has started actually instigating this game (only with Joe)....it's the first time she has controlled her world in this specific way. And we remember Rowan doing the exact same thing....fake coughing, lots of laughs.

exhibit #5: lurching for her crib, arms extended, immediately when she is through nursing and ready for sleep. This is the most heart-breaking one of all: the desire and the ability to sleep alone. So you know all those baby books tell you to lay your baby down while still awake, so they learn to "self-sooth" and sleep through the night better. I was never good at that....mostly because I love snuggling a sleeping baby. As Piper has gotten older, she has become increasingly less willing to snuggle...and I can hardly remember the last time I held her while she was sleeping. The last few weeks I have tried, unsuccessfully, to hold her for awhile after she nurses. To smell her baby smell, look on her sleepy face, and just hold on to this for awhile. She protests the snuggling. And then, a few nights ago...she started doing exactly what Rowan did at this age: lurch for the crib right after nursing. Literally, a physical throwing of her body, all rigid and extended, in the direction of her crib, as if to say: I'm tired, I'm ready for bed. Please just put me there.

I know some kids don't do this...and always seem dependent on a parent to get to sleep. You gotta admire a girl who knows what she wants, but I'll tell you one thing. Should a third child ever bless our lives, I am not going to spend ONE SECOND feeling guilty about not laying my awake child down for sleep. I'm going to hold my sleeping baby whenever and wherever possible. Because now I know (reinforced by child #2): the time comes too soon when your baby is too big to hold, too old for snuggling, too independent to need you for sleep.

Pictures soon, I promise. I'm almost there.