Tidbits and Piper at 4 months

Piper is growing up! Here is a shot of her from yesterday, a few days after turning 4 months old. Her hair has gotten a lot longer and a lot lighter...and some days I tame it with a hair clip, other days it decides to lay flat itself. She's a lot of fun when she is awake...quite content, smiley, chatty. Her eyes are usually wide, and like Rowan when she was a baby, it's hard to even catch her blinking. She giggles, she follows her sister's movement wherever she goes, she grabs for things. She's rolled over front to back and sort of back to front (with the assistance of a bit of an incline on the front lawn!)

We're back to a newborn schedule when it comes to sleep. What gives? She had a few weeks there of 8 and even some 10 hour stretches. The last 2 weeks...it's been up at 1:00, 3:00, 5:30, argghh. Last night I had to change her diaper because she was so wet at 3:30, and she thought that was a nice time to be awake for awhile...until after 5:00! Hopefully the sleep will even out, then this whole baby thing will be a breeze!

A few funny Rowan stories:
A few days ago Rowan was tearing up paper into little pieces and throwing them in the air. She says to me, joyfully, "look at my party-fetti, mom!" I could hardly bear to correct her.

Rowan has been really into rhyming things the last half year or so. She fully understands what rhyming entails, and really enjoys rhyming just about anything. She also gets that some rhymes are real words, and that sometimes it is fun to make up words that rhyme. So the other day I was getting the girls ready to go, and the car seats were in the truck...but I was taking the mini-van. I asked if Joe would stay with the girls so I could go and switch the car seats.

Rowan, in a sing-song, sort of sassy (coincidentally) voice, says "she's gonna switch, bitch." Now of course, being seasoned parents, we knew not to react. We knew that in her mind, it was a made-up word. Meant nothing. Wouldn't be repeated again.

Joe and I made eye-contact sidelong. Our eyes widened. Maybe our lips turned up ever so slightly. But we didn't say a thing. Ignored it. I was pretty sure she didn't even look at us after saying it.

Apparently, you can't get much passed a 4 year old. She repeated herself, "gonna switch, bitch"....and watched more closely for our response. I suppose there is a possibility that she has heard this word somewhere, and was testing it out....but I quite doubt it. I really think it was a random rhyme...and that she just very perceptibly picked up on the non-verbal information that told her it was a different kind of word. She repeated it a handful more times, we continued to ignore it with increasing success.

So much for seasoned parents.

I should have learned my lesson about a year ago when Rowan randomly put up her middle-finger. For some reason I decided (obviously hadn't thought about it much) to tell her that she shouldn't do that, that it meant something bad. I kept it vague, but she kept imploring.."but mommy, WHAT does it mean?" I never told her exactly, just told her several versions of it's not kind, it's not nice, it is very mean. Oh yeah, and don't do it.

She did it...to her grandparents, when they asked her what signs she remembered from when she was a baby. To her unsuspecting aunt. We finally had to threaten a time-out if she did it again, and that took care of it.

Speaking of rhyming, this is a story from a few months ago. She loves doing that naming song, "Rowan bowan, bo-bowan, banana.." and does it quite well with any name. She and my dad were talking about a card he had received with a bunch of different names for God on it...Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, etc. So he was explaining to Rowan that God has many names. Rowan's eyes lit up, and she contributed her names for God with gusto: "God, God, bo-bod, banana-fanana fo-fod, me my mo-mod, Gooo---oood!"

Here's a parting shot of my lovely ladies. I'll have some more pictures up for Flickr soon.

Allerton Avenue

I haven't written much yet about the new street that we're living on, Allerton Ave. It's a short street...makes a T into both Hall and Adams, so there are a total of only a little more than 30 houses on our street. Many of the houses were built in the 1920s and 1930s...and they are all really different from each other. There are sidewalks, a slight hill, and lots of big, beautiful trees.

And kids. Lots of kids. I don't know the official count, but just in my head I can think of 18 kids(not including ours) under the age of 10.

The first time our realtor showed me the house (Joe wasn't here yet), he told me that Allerton had a reputation for being a cool street. That the neighbors hung out together, had barbecues, happy hour, that kind of thing. I thought he was just trying to sell me a house, but then a few weeks later when Joe came with me to check it out...we hung around and talked to a neighbor across the street to get her impressions of the neighborhood.

We thought for a minute that our realtor had paid this woman to gush about Allerton. He didn't. We bought the house...for lots of reasons; including the people who live around it.

I hesitate to even write some of this stuff, because I know it sounds too good to be true. And we are still in the "honeymoon" period of being excited about our house. Eventually we may find out some really dark, annoying things about our neighbors :) That being said, here are a few of the cool things about Allerton:

-the kids play out in front of the houses. Seems like when a few kids head outside, they all do. Rowan frequently checks the front window to see who's outside playing...and sometimes the kids even knock to see if she's home. Rowan hasn't felt confident enough yet to go play without Joe or me accompanying her...but eventually she will. When she does, she will have no end to her playmate options...including a 4 year old girl across the street and a 5 year old girl next door to that.

-the parents often hang out front, too. Partly to supervise the children, surely. But I suspect that a fair amount of it is the joy of adults in community, too.

-the neighbors get together for indoor play-dates when the weather is bad. They invited us to one before we moved in...moms, coffee, kids playing.

-Phil, the neighbor across the street and next door, has a pool. He doesn't have kids...but apparently opens his pool up to anyone on the street, at any time. We're looking forward to swimming there in a few months when the weather is warm enough!

-Curt and his wife live down the street 4 or 5 houses. They are in their 50s or 60s probably. Our first introduction to Curt was when he was dressed as a monster handing out candy on his front porch on Halloween. Joe officially met him one winter day after Curt had snow blown our driveway...and also the sidewalks up and down the whole street. We had a lot of snow this winter...and we never once shoveled our front sidewalk. Curt did.

-Curt also grows a vegetable garden on the side of his house...mostly for the benefit of the kids. He dries some of the beans every year, gives the seeds to the kids to start little plants at their houses...then the kids all plant them in his garden in the spring. Seriously.

-About 10 families on the street participate in a CSA (community supported agriculture) together. So they take turns driving out to the farm each week to pick up the bushels of veggies to bring back to the street. We, of course, are participating this summer!

-there is a neighborhood celebration for almost every holiday. We were invited to the Halloween one before we even lived here. Pizza, beer, trick-or-treating. On St. Patricks Day, right after we moved in, there was "happy hour" out front across the street...one neighbor provided beer, others brought green treats. Yesterday there was a big Easter Egg Hunt at a neighbor's house (and we spontaneously did the egg-dying party, but more on that later). On 4th of July another neighbor has a brunch after the HollyHock Parade (word has it that Allerton Ave is doing a float for that parade this year).

-people loan and borrow stuff. So the Cebulskis are a big benefit to the street. We do own a concrete mixer and drum floor sander, after all. A neighbor across the street has been re-doing his bathroom, and he has been over lots of time to borrow a tool, ask Joe something, etc. Joe loves it. As long as people return things in a timely manner :) Yesterday Joe had to jack up his truck to check out the brakes...and he used a neighbor's flat driveway to do it (ours is a bit of a hill). Another neighbor, who is a mechanic, provided lots of help along the way.

-there is a park about 2 blocks away...and a new Christian school is being built on the same property.

-there is a library about a block and a half away. We walked there Friday to see a puppeteer.

-Rowan's pre-school is less than a mile away. We walked the other day when it was nice.

-from what we can tell, most of the families are planning on being here long-term. One near-by neighbor even recently remodeled their kitchen, even though it makes the home exceed the value they could re-sell it for, simply because they don't want to move.

-FROG soccer. Not sure what FROG stands for (Friends of Gary, I think?). It's an informal gathering of neighbors (drawing from a larger area than just Allerton) that meet at a near-by park every Monday evening for 6 weeks after Spring Break. A very ambitious woman organizes it all...but it's basically a laid-back, low pressure way for kids to get acquainted with basic soccer skills. It's free, you don't have to sign up...just show up. They divide kids by age, do stations of simple soccer drills, have a scrimmage, then a snack. It's perfect for a kid like Rowan, who insists that she doesn't want to learn how to play any sports, to have a low-pressure way to be exposed. She spent most of the first session hanging back, observing, kicking the ball around with her dad a bit. Maybe by the end she'll join in! But the whole thing is just a great example of a community coming together, serving each other, having fun together, all on their own!

Okay, I'll stop gushing. We just feel so blessed to be on this street!

There are a few photos of the neighborhood, mixed in with other random photos, if you follow the link here to Flickr.

There are also some photos up of Easter and the egg-dying, which I'll blog about eventually, posted to a set here.

No Hugging

Photo and Blog post are unrelated. The photo is just because I realized that I don't have many pictures of ME with Piper, since I am usually the photo-taker. And she's getting so big. So fast.

But the story is about Rowan. Well, two stories, actually.

My mom took Rowan and her cousins to a movie yesterday. When she picked Rowan up, my mom asked Rowan how she was doing and asked her what was going on in her life. Rowan replied "Oh, Grandma, I just have so much fun stuff in my life!" Isn't that cute?

And here is the other story. Rowan has always had this thing about me and Joe hugging. If she ever sees us hug, she comes right over and puts herself between us. Not joining in, mind you, but physically trying to push us apart. Is this normal? We figure that it's some sort of Oedipus thing where it's a bit of competition (for Joe's affections, for mine, too)...but it never fails. We hug, she's there at our feet, wedging herself in the middle.

Tonight when I was putting Rowan to bed, I sang her a song and told her that we had sung that song at our wedding. She got the ceremony confused with the reception, I guess, because then she wondered what dance daddy and I did at our wedding. I know she was thinking of Jenny and Mark's wedding, and their funky dance, and I'm sorry Rowan...but daddy and I will NEVER be that smooth on a dance floor! But I told her that we did have a big party, and a dance, and then asked if she wanted to see how daddy and I danced at our wedding. She giggled. Of course she did. So I got Joe, whispered to him that we had to at least TRY to be as cool as Jen and Mark, and we did a little personal dance party for Rowan while she laid in bed, muffling her smiles.

When we finished dancing, naturally, we hugged. We could feel her dilemma. She had clearly enjoyed our performance, liked seeing our affection and enjoyment of each other, right there in her own bedroom. But the hug was over the line. She got out of bed, came between us. Pushed us apart. We always try to keep hugging when she does this, and we all end up laughing while she puts forth great effort in her pushing...so at the very least, it's good for some comic relief.

We had always heard about this phenomenon where newborn babies can sense when their parents are about to/are having sex...that they can actually sense (smell?) the hormonal change in the air, and since it is in THEIR best interest to not have a sibling on the way too quickly, their reaction is to wake up and cry in hopes of thwarting the amorous behavior (we, along with many other couples we have told this theory, seem to have anecdotal evidence that supports such a theory). Anyways...maybe Rowan's attempts to break up our hugs are along those same lines. As if she is sub-consciously saying: No more babies. We are enough.

We'll see about that :)

Our second home

Okay, this is going to be a long one.

After the funeral in Illinois, we continued driving south to spend a few days visiting friends in Jonesboro. We lived in Jonesboro from the fall of 1999 to the fall of 2007...eight full years. We never realized how much of a home Jonesboro was to us...until we went back after being gone for a year and a half.

It definitely took a few years for us to find our groove in Jonesboro...but once we did, we really built an amazing community of friends there. Friends that really functioned more like family to us. We had a built-in community of athletes, including coach Earl Bell and his parents, who everyone calls Grandma and Grandpa Bell (grandpa Bell holds the world record for his age group (88) in the pole vault). Several of those athletes are still our dearest friends. But many of those athletes have moved away, retired like Joe has, gone on to other things.

In addition to pole vaulters, we were also fortunate to have a whole other community of friends in Jonesboro...friendships created through work, random connections, and a cool little house-church called New Thing.

So Saturday night we rolled in and went straight to the Wilkies. Jason and Julie were some of our first friends in Jonesboro. We knew them before kids...now they have Duncan, 6, Quinton, 4, and Lillian, 2. Julie was my OB-GYN during my pregnancy with Rowan and delivered her (and sustained me) after a hard, long labor. We ate dinner with the Wilkies, talked and played, then put all the kids to bed and talked and talked some more. We spent the night at their house, Jason made us waffles in the morning, and we just hung around until lunch-time. These are the kind of friends that it's easy to slip back into a comfortable routine with...going deep right away. They know us intimately...and love us anyways!

Then we headed across town to our friends Amy and Lon's new house. They used to live in a house across from us on Nettleton...but recently moved. Lon and Joe coached together at ASU. Elijah is their 2 year old son...we were especially excited to see him because the last time we saw him, he wasn't quite a year old..and he has changed SO much! Eli was born with a cleft palette (which has been fixed) and many digestive issues which are probably all related to each other. He has had a tube going directly into his intestines (by-passing the stomach) since he was a baby...and it's always been uncertain whether he'd tolerate any solid foods through his mouth. During the last few months he has begun to eat solids (and not throw up!) and we just celebrated with Amy as we got to watch Eli eat! Amy is an unbelievably patient, loving mother to Eli. I marvel at her. Amy and I (and the kids) also got to go to the nature center together the next day...and play at the park a bit. The weather was beautiful the whole time we were in Jonesboro--what a treat to have 60 degree + days and sun!

Sunday afternoon I got to meet up with an old friend, Saraya, for an hour at the mall. Saraya was one of my after-school kids back in '99 when we first got to AR...so I have known her since she was probably 8 or 9. She's just finishing up her first year at ASU and is a great girl.

Sunday evening we had dinner with James (and Dana joined us a bit late!) and their daughter, Saraya, who is 5 (and yes, I think I'm the only person who knows TWO Sarayas!). Saraya was born in February almost exactly a year before Rowan...and those two have been friends since Rowan's birth. Mostly on account of Saraya's sweet, kind, super-compassionate spirit, honestly. The girl is just too good to be true! And Rowan adores her. It was so much fun to see them re-connect, laugh, chase each other, and just disappear into their own little world together.

James and Dana were literally our first friends other than pole vaulters in Jonesboro. And after only a few months of knowing each other, they invited us to come live with them for awhile (long story--we needed an interim place to stay in a hurry, they offered, we said sure!)....which turned into 6 months...which turned into a really fast, meaningful way to forge a friendship! Before we had kids, we would get together every Thursday night, take turns cooking dinner, watch Survivor, and then play a very competitive game of Settlers of Catan.

Phew. And this was only Day 2! Sunday night we slept over at the Matthews...and remained there as our home base for the rest of the trip. We met Dave and Rebecca through the Wilkies. Dave eventually became our pediatrician, and I eventually worked for Rebecca at PACES, then she became my lactation consultant after Rowan was born...and through all and in all of this, they have been dear friends to us. We have also gotten to know their grown children: Micah, Ben, and Meghan...and we'll be photographing Meghan's wedding this June. The Matthews have loved us like family, looked out for us, cared for us, fed us, called us, asked us good questions, thought often of our needs, laughed with us, and always answer the phone when we call for advice or an opinion. The Matthews actually used to live in Stockton...so we had the bonus of visiting with them when we were out in CA a few times! It was nice to be based at the Matthews...while we were running around most days, we knew that a calm, good conversation would await us at their home after the girls were asleep. My only regret was not taking hardly any pictures of our time at the Matthews...it felt too much like home, I guess, and I just relaxed from photo-taking duties! Oh well, I'll have more photos of their family than I will know what to do with after June 20!

On Monday I visited at my old work, PACES, for awhile. It was so good to see Qubilah, Danae, and some new employees. We went to the nature center with Amy and Eli while Joe hunted for oil (got 3/4 of the tank full...it got us all the way back to MI!) Then we showed up out at Bell Athletics to see Earl and whoever else was around.

Monday afternoon/dinner/evening we spent with the Reeves family. Dan and Veronica were also some early Jonesboro friends. Dan led that cool little house church called New Thing. They have three daughters who are each unbelievably beautiful and unique from each other. Camryn is 11, Carson is 8, and Callie is 3. Rowan, of course, had a fabulous time getting reacquainted with them and exploring their fun girly toys! And we could talk to Dan and Veronica for days on end, literally. We would not run out of things to talk about. They are real, faithful, warm, spiritually deep.

Tuesday we explored town a bit, stopped by some places we loved, stopped in on a few old friends. Dana and I visited for awhile and took the girls out for ice cream. My friend Beth came over and we took a long walk on a sunny, 68 degree day. I hired Beth to work for me at an after-school program I was running when she was a senior in high school and have loved her ever since. Now she is a k/1 teacher and is a gentle, loyal spirit.

Tuesday night the Matthews fed us. They are adventurous cooks and we enjoyed a yummy paella. Then we headed over to our old house to retrieve a few things we had left in the garage attic. Eric and Kristie are the couple that bought our house...and we didn't know them when they bought it, but they are also friends with the Reeves. They were gracious enough to help Joe load his things....and let me and the girls visit inside for awhile. It was a lot of fun to see the old house! How many memories we have there...our first home...Joe did so many projects there...we brought Rowan home there...we really really loved that house. Eric and Kristie have great taste and the changes they made I totally approve of. Mostly they just re-painted some things that definitely needed it! I'm really glad we got to go through the house.

So we were planning on leaving on Wednesday...but decided that we hadn't seen everyone we wanted to see, and stayed another day! Wednesday we surprised Grandma and Grandpa Bell...salt of the earth people who play a big role in holding together the community of pole vaulters that come to be coached by their son, Earl. Then we went back out to the building because our friend Daniel was back in town and we wanted to see him. So we played and watched vaulting for awhile. That felt familiar!

Joe went to practice at ASU and got to see a lot of athletes that he coached. Then we went over to our friends Jay and Jenny Little's house for burgers...and they were nice enough to let anyone else stop over to see us again...so we saw the Wilkies, Hewitts, Reeves, and Beth all again. Watched our crew of kids play. Got caught up on each others' lives. Good conversations all around.


We ended Wednesday night with what was supposed to be a quick stop at Chris and Polly Harrell's house. We got to know Chris and Polly during our last few years in Jonesboro. They have 2 boys...Jake and Isaac...who were very sweet to Rowan! We had a great time talking to Chris and Polly...stayed later than we had intended...and had a lingering good-bye in the driveway as we each continued to think of things to talk about!

We left Jonesboro on Thursday morning with heavy hearts. When we lived in Jonesboro, we always thought of Michigan as "home" and would look forward to our visits there.
Now we are living in Michigan, and while Michigan will always be home to us...we realized that now we will look forward to our visits to Jonesboro in much the same way. We have a second home. So much for visiting exotic locales when we have vacation time (one of my arguments for us to move to MI :))....it will be hard not to seriously consider a trip to Jonesboro on a regular basis!

We are abundantly blessed by the relationships in our lives...across the country!

By the way--the girls did GREAT on the trip. Piper was amazing in the car....she slept a lot and didn't do too much crying. Rowan is a trooper and found things to keep herself busy in the car...and LOVED all the visiting we did in Jonesboro. I told Joe that having Rowan at 4 and Piper at 3 months on a long trip was infinitely easier than Rowan by herself at 3 months!

To see a bunch more photos of our time and friends in Jonesboro, click here.

Celebrating Grandpa Thomas

Joe's maternal grandfather, Millard Thomas, passed away two weeks ago today at the age of 96.

Grandma and Grandpa Thomas would have been married 75 years this summer. SEVENTY-FIVE YEARS, can you believe it?

Grandpa has had a series of falls and set-backs in his health over the last few years...and this last year has been particularly hard as he's been living in a nursing home. Grandma faithfully visited him for the better part of every day...but it was a difficult experience for both of them.

We were fortunate to get to travel with all four of us down to Farmer City, Illinois (yes, that's right...Farmer City!), where Joe's mom grew up and where much of her family still lives, to be with family and attend the funeral.

While we are sad about grandpa's death because we will miss him...in many ways this was merciful, and it seemed like the whole family was able to celebrate grandpa's life with joy and thanksgiving.


It was a good couple of days. The funeral was beautiful. Joe read a list of memories that the grandchildren had compiled, plus said a few words about sorrow and joy. Joe's mom read a beautiful piece that she had written about grandpa's hands over the years (he had the biggest, most wrinkled hands, worn from farming and 96 years of life!) We also got to reconnect with many cousins, aunts and uncles, and other friends and family...lots of hugs, talks, and memories of grandpa.


Joe and I will be married 10 years this summer...and we dated for 4 before that...so Grandma and Grandpa Thomas have been like grandparents to me, too, for over a decade. I have thought often these weeks about how big and wide families can be...how they can just open right up and make room for another, how a parent or grandparent can make you feel like their own, even when you're already an adult. Grandpa Thomas loved me, I know it surely, and I loved him right back. We already miss you, Grandpa!

A few more photos from our days in Farmer City are posted here.

House Photos!

These photos have been a long time coming!

We moved into the house last weekend and spent the first night here Sunday. After over a year of living transiently, and 6 months before that of living in an RV...it feels GREAT to have space that is all our own again!

The upstairs of the house is done...so that is where we are living. The downstairs is still a work-in-progress. The kitchen is the next project. In the meantime, we have a little fridge and microwave up in our master closet, plus a full-size fridge and oven/stove in the unfinished part of the house. So preparing meals will be an adventure! Some of my sweet friends have brought us meals this week--leftovers that we could just heat up in the microwave, or already-made meals to easily throw in the oven. I have a feeling that there won't be much gourmet cooking around here for awhile!

We're still getting unpacked and organized. Moving is like giving birth...a part of your brain always forgets how much work it is, otherwise you'd never do it again. Seriously! We have been exhausted this week, and we only moved half of a house!

I'm not posting photos of the our master bedroom or closet...not because they are private, but because they are functioning as multi-use spaces right now, and don't make a lot of sense in a photograph. Our closet is also a mini-kitchen, and our bedroom is a living room/dining room...and both look a bit crazy, neither will stay that way forever. The bedroom and closet have the same amazing floors that you see in Rowan and Piper's rooms...and the same beautiful windows, trim, and doors, too.


Rowan's room. My girly girl, of course, wanted pink. I never in a million years thought that I would have a pink room in my house. Never. True love, that's what I say. And we compromised. I'm partial to orange, and I think pink and orange look pretty cute together. So that's where Rowan and I started...and we've been having fun collecting things for her room since the fall. All of her furniture is second-hand. My sister found the headboard for her bed for $5 at a garage sale, we sanded and painted it. The mattress itself is the one Joe slept on as a kid. The dressers I found at an estate sale for $15 a piece. Also sanded, painted, and added new hardware to those. The funky chair is from Craigslist. The big Ikea bookcase is also from Craigslist. I will have to write a whole separate post about the absurd way we (by we I mean JOE) got the bookcase upstairs. But that will have to wait.

Notice the beautiful floors. Joe refinished the floors in the entire upstairs...and I'm having trouble putting rugs over any of it. They are deep, rich, warm, perfect. He spent a week working on them...a lot of it on his hands and knees. I'm catching him every day, now, on his hands and knees, inspecting this or that on the floor, making sure the furniture isn't scratching them too much.

Notice the window and trim, too. Joe put all new windows in the whole house. Not only do they look clean and sharp...they are very energy efficient, too. We also insulated the whole house, so we're eager to see what our gas bills look like. Joe's dad did most of the trim. We love it. Thick, simple, clean, craftsman lines. Just like I am having trouble putting rugs on the floors, I'm having trouble putting any kind of window treatment on the windows. I just want to show them off!

There are more pics of Rowan's room...you can see them by following the link to Flick at the end of this post.


Piper's room. It's a lovely shade of green. The crib is the one Rowan slept in...lovingly made by hand, out of ONE piece of oak, by her Papa (Joe's dad). We adore this crib. The changing table, too, was Rowan's. A dresser we found at Salvation Army in Memphis...painted, added hardware, then Joe built a beautiful oak top for it and put feet on it to make it higher for us tall folks. I found the funky old green rocker at an estate sale this fall, and another oak dresser at an antique fair. I'm still planning on painting a few things on her walls...so I'll post more pictures of her room later. Also more photos on Flickr.


The bathroom. I have to brag on Joe here. I really don't deserve a bathroom this nice. I feel like I am showering at an upscale hotel. I feel like I am at a spa. And every single detail is due to Joe. Which sometimes drove me crazy. I wanted to pick out tile at the first place we looked. He insisted on checking every tile place in town. I wanted to pick out fixtures at Lowes. He researched and bought really cool fixtures, for great deals, online. I tend to be rash at making decisions. Let's just say he is deliberate. But holy moly, check out what he did!
Bathroom Before:

Bathroom After:


The bathroom was literally a shell when we bought the house...so we had to design it...every single part of it. It turned out better than we ever imagined. A few details: the flooring is Ipe, a Brazilian hardwood that stands up really well to water, and is really expensive. Joe found some on Craigslist...a guy had some left-over from a project (not flooring) and had about 60 square feet left, just what we needed. And sold it to us for $60! Joe had to re-mill it to make it work as flooring. The shelf is made of oak from an old barn that Joe collected a bunch of wood from when we lived in Arkansas. The vanity was made from walnut flooring that we got cheap from a surplus store. Joe put the wood flooring together and then re-imagined it as furniture! The wood is dark and varied and gorgeous. The counter-top and tub surround is all concrete. Joe built forms and poured it off-site, then installed it all around the tub and over the vanity. Joe did every part of this bathroom (with help on plumbing from his dad)...from the lighting to the tile work to the floors to the vanity to the complicated plumbing. It's amazing. You can see a lot of other details in the photos at Flickr.

Check them out here.

"Formal" Photos

Since Rowan turned 4 a few weeks ago and Piper is now 2 months old and growing rapidly, I have had it on my mind to take some photos of them with the backdrop.

Parents often report that when their children are in the care of someone else, their children are more well-behaved than when the parent is taking care of them. I'm sure this phenomenon has a name...but whatever it is, this more-well-behaved-for-others-thing applies to photographers taking pictures of their own children, too.

I'm fine picking up the camera and taking "candid" shots of the girls...but when it's time to take nicer, "formal" ones, I sort of dread it. Maybe it's because I'm less patient than I would be with a paying customer...or maybe it's because they already know the tricks I have up my sleeve to get attention or a smile...but whatever it is, I seldom have as good of luck with my own kids as I do with other people's kids. What's that about?

My mother-in-law was nice enough to help me take some photos...by getting the kids' attention and taking care of whoever wasn't in the frame. Even with the help, I seemed to get quickly frustrated. I expected too much.


Initially, my newborn was more cooperative than my 4-year-old. Piper gave sweet smiles, talked to her Nana throughout...but her hair is just so wild I couldn't figure out what to do with it, and she mostly just looked like a little old lady. I just couldn't figure out how to make her look cute...and not like I had just electrocuted her. Her smiles are sweet as all get out in person, but in two-dimensions her mouth just looks agape, like she might need some psychiatric help. Is it possible for a 2 month old to be going through an awkward phase? No magazines are calling to put this one on their cover! Oh well, here she is in all her wild glory.


And Rowan is at that great age of fake smiles. Painfully fake. And I was impatient with her. When I finally took a deep breath, I asked myself if I would ever treat someone else's child with such frustration. Of course I wouldn't. I would be undyingly patient...trying thing after thing after thing to get them comfortable and to get some genuine smiles.

So I bribed her with ice cream. Changed her outfit. Let her take some pictures of me. Told new knock-knock jokes. And finally got a few real photos.



I've only edited these few shots so far. Eventually I will put a bunch more up on Flickr...and I promise to include some of the really horrible ones. There were many.

When we were driving in the car after taking pictures, I apologized to Rowan for getting frustrated with her. Apparently I am too hard on myself--she didn't seem to think I got too frustrated, and was confused by my apology.

Piper got her 2 month shots (not photos--needle shots) today. I hate that. She cried pretty hard. She weighed 12 pounds, 9 ounces and has grown 3 inches: she's now 23 1/2 inches long. She looks healthy! And some of the clothes that were gifts at her birth, which we looked at and thought "she'll never be that big!"...yeah, she's already grown out of them.

Sigh.

Turning a Corner

I have waited a few weeks to post this good news because I wanted to make sure it wasn't a fluke. The jury is still out on whether we found a permanent solution, but I think we have turned a corner.

First of all, thank you to all the friends and folks who have made good suggestions for how to solve our sleep/fussy issue with Piper. Lots of good ideas.

The idea that made the most sense to us to try first came from our good friend and former pediatrician in Jonesboro, Dr. Dave Matthews. He told us about this product out of Sweden called Biogaia. It's a probiotic in drop form that babies can take. The logic behind this is that we all have good and bad bacteria in our gut, which in part aids in digestion. Sometimes the balance of good vs. bad bacteria can get out of whack and cause digestive distress. One way that the bacteria gets out of balance is from taking antibiotics...which wipe out bad bacteria, but take the good bacteria with it. I was on an IV drip of antibiotics during labor for Group B Strep...so Piper would have received some of that when she was born.

In addition to Piper's tummy pain, she also had horrible smelling gas. Much worse than a breast-fed baby should have. Also a sign of imbalance in the gut. So Dave felt like if we gave her some good bacteria, it may help her feel better. You can buy BioGaia over-the-counter, it's all natural, no side-effects. At $30 a bottle, it was worth a shot. Dave told me to make sure to give her 5 drops a day for at least two weeks...that it might take that long to see the effects.

I received the BioGaia in the mail on a Saturday a few weeks ago...gave it to Piper that day. That night, she slept from 10:00 PM until 6:15 AM with no grunting. What! The next 3 nights were similar...sleeping from 11-5 or 10-5:30...at least 5 hour stretches each night. And the biggest change--no grunting. Craziness!


The only complicating factor is that the same day I received the BioGaia, my sweet Aunt in Portland sent me a bottle of Gripe Water...which are homeopathic drops that also aid digestion and supposedly reduce colic. So I had given her a few of these drops that day as well. Who knows, maybe it was the combination of both?

After 4 or 5 nights of amazing sleep, little Piper got a cold and has spent the last two weeks doing quite a bit of night waking because her nose has been so stuffed up she's had trouble breathing. But it has been clear that the frequent night-waking this time is because of her stuffy nose, not her tummy. And she's still been doing a 5 hour stretch at the beginning of the night...it just seems like in the middle of the night her nose gets worse and the second half of the night is a bit restless. So we'll see once this cold clears--but either way, we are much improved over here!

I was hoping for an answer to her tummy trouble and fussiness, I was NEVER expecting her to suddenly start sleeping in such long stretches. Rowan didn't sleep this long or well until way after 6 months old, so I've been mentally prepared to do that again. Feels like relief...and grace...and we are thankful.


This photo is of a trick that Joe loves to do with our newborns--don't have a heart attack, he has huge hands and has those baby feet firmly planted within. It looks pretty funny to see such a little baby upright like this--and she LOVES to do it! It's one of Joe's sure-fire ways to calm a fussy baby. We figure it takes so much brain power to keep herself balanced, it makes her quit crying.

To see some more random photos from the last weeks, including a few shots of Rowan's 4th birthday party, click here.

We are planning on moving into our house this weekend, if all goes on schedule this week. So stayed tuned for some "after" photos of the upstairs....we are so close!

Random Photo

Sorting through some photos today...trying to clean up the hard-drive and find some more photos to submit to Istock. Came across this photo that my cousin KC took at Jenny's wedding rehearsal this summer. KC grabbed my camera for awhile at the rehearsal...she has a great eye! For some reason I never edited this batch of photos...but this one makes me motivated...and nostalgic for summer! I love seeing photos that other people take of my kids...of course, Rowan never wants to give me such a sweet look.

Thanks KC, I love this photo...

The tree

Back when Joe and I were dating, we had a special place in the woods where we would go to hike, talk, explore. The woods is on a piece of property that his family used to own just outside of town a bit. We spent a lot of time there while we were dating. At one point early on in our relationship, probably before we were officially "dating", we carved our initials in a tree, with the year (with no heart or + included, mind you...just JC LH 95) and that's usually where we would return on our visits.

One summer we decided to bury a box by the tree...and included items and memories from that year, plus a letter that we each penned to each other, sealed, with the intention of returning the next summer to open the box and read the letters from the year previous. Pretty romantic, huh? And hopeful, too...as we never knew for sure if we'd still be together the next summer...but both had a good feeling about it! We did this for each summer that we dated (and still have all the contents we chose stored away carefully...photos, ticket stubs, notes, rocks, etc).

After 3 years of dating, a semester that we broke up, lots of agonizing together about what our future might look like...we returned to our tree in August of 1998 to dig up our box from the summer before. This time, there were many other trees with carvings in them all along the path to "our" tree...carvings that were on 2 trees but went together, sweet messages with code names we used for each other over e-mail. This should have made me suspicious, but in those days a romantic gesture like this was not out-of-the-ordinary! It was a hot day, we were sweaty and itchy from the hike...and finally settled in around our digging work to enjoy the items in the box. When we got to the letters...he read mine first. Then I read his, and at the end of the letter was this strange instruction, which said something like "continue digging" (I'd tell you precisely what it said, but all of our stuff is in storage still...don't know where the letter is exactly!)

So I kept digging...and came to another box...and in it was a ring...and Joe asked me if I would marry him...and the rest is history. We got root beer floats afterward to celebrate, not knowing what else to do as the newly-engaged...and looked at each other with strange wonder at what was ahead.

(In case you are wondering...Joe had not planned this engagement a year ahead of time! He returned to the site and added the note and buried the ring right before the proposal...actually, I seem to remember that his dad had to bury the ring because it was only ready at the last minute before the proposal...and that it involved specific instructions to his dad about how to find the tree "go west after the second oak tree, then take 40 paces north...")

So this tree and these woods are special to us. We had not been there in many years...probably 6 or 7...but decided to take the girls a few weeks ago.

Truth be known, we went to take a hike on the first Sunday that it was warmer than 30 degrees around here...the snow was still super deep (2 or 3 feet), but it was sunny and beautiful. Some new houses had been built on the property, so it took us awhile to find our normal markers and get oriented on the land. But we eventually found the tree. Our initials were much harder to see than a decade ago...but they are there if you look closely.



Rowan wouldn't join us for a picture, but Piper is nestled warmly in the Moby under my coat. You can see her little head sticking out in a bear hat.

We stayed there for awhile...Joe and Rowan built a snow fort, threw snowballs. We identified lots of animal tracks.

Felt surreal to bring our children to this spot. We'll be married 10 years this summer...and while I really don't feel that old, having a place like this to return to and experiencing the flood of memories makes me feel grounded, with history, with a story, with a journey that isn't just beginning any more...but one which has a significant portion of it already written.



There are just a handful more photos at Flickr here.

Bad Hair Day

After a recent nap. What do I do with this child's hair?

To Rowan at Four Years Old

Dear Rowan, (02-21-2009)

Happy Birthday!

Today you turn 4. I know every parent says this as their child ages a year—but it is hard to believe. I can’t believe I have a 4 year old. I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the days and hours 4 years ago while we awaited your birth.

I loved being pregnant with you. It was my first time to experience all the kicks and tumbles and changes in my body from a growing life, and I reveled in it. You have told me repeatedly that you do not want to get married or have a baby…and I have reassured you that it is your choice, that no one will make you (and quite frankly, I’d rather not have you TOO eager for pregnancy..at least not anytime soon!) You said you are scared about “giving birth” because it sounds like it would hurt—even though I have gone to great lengths to make it sound like a wonderful, positive experience. I hope that someday you change your mind…and that you get to experience the mystery of pregnancy. It would be a privilege for me to witness.

You arrived a few days after your due date…and each day for over a week I took a long walk around Craighead Forest Lake in Jonesboro, hoping to help induce labor. I remember those walks in detail…I think I suspected how my life was going to change, knew the luxury of a solo 3 mile walk would soon be just that…a luxury. But mostly I remember dreaming about you. What you would look like, who you would be. Who I would be.

My labor with you was arduous. My water broke at midnight, contractions started in earnest right away, I breathed through them at home through the night…only to find out the discouraging news at the hospital 7 hours later that I was only dilated to 1. We found out much later that you were turned the wrong way…hence the prolonged labor. When it was finally time to push, you still hadn’t turned…and you got stuck behind my pubic bone. I labored and pushed for a long time…I was very focused, never lost control or concentration….but narrowly missed a c-section…also narrowly missed giving my good friend and OB-GYN a heart attack…and finally pushed you out after 3 hours. You were still sunny-side up. This resulted in a long recovery for me…and a very unusually shaped head for you. 3 hours in the birth canal facing the wrong way…you looked like a baby manatee. The day after you were born, my friend Dana showed me a picture of you in profile from immediately after you entered the world, and I emptied my bladder on the hospital floor from laughing. I’m pleased to report that your head is now quite lovely.

You are beautiful.

Our first year with you was rough. I underestimated how much a baby changes your life. I struggled not so much with your daily care—I loved (most) of that. I struggled with a lack of independence. Your dad and I struggled to define new roles and to relate to each other as parents. I didn’t like having to think so far ahead about every little detail or plan.

4 years later, I think we’ve caught our groove :) Having added Piper to our family this year, I feel much more relaxed and able to keep things in perspective….because of you. Because I know why we endure infancy. Because I know that you turned into this totally fun, cool person to be around.

(rowan at 2 months)

You have been strong-willed from the get-go. I maintain that I’d rather have a daughter who knows what she wants than one who is too easily influenced. When you get an idea…it’s hard to persuade you out of it. You have very specific ideas about what you want to wear, what you want to play with, what you want to eat. Sometimes you are a real pain in the butt!

You gave up naps on your 2^nd birthday and have never looked back. You do not stop all day…and are surprisingly pleasant to be around even as the day drags on and you should be getting weary. You are constantly moving, often talking, usually asking questions, and just tenacious as all get out.

You have a good sense of humor, laugh at daddy’s silly jokes, and have even started making up your own jokes. You remember things after being told once, and will often surprise us by using a new word or concept in the correct context almost immediately. Your memory impresses us…you will frequently reminisce about some small detail of our life in Jonesboro or in the RV.

You ask the best questions. Yesterday you asked me “how does the brain think?” And of course, you want to know “why” for everything. And you don’t miss much when adults are having a conversation around you. We are learning to be careful about what we say in your presence…not so much out of protection of you, but out of avoidance of a really long explanation and a million questions!

I love to hear what you are thinking. You put ideas together and make connections between stories and concepts. Conversations with you are fun. You’re a good thinker. It bodes well for what school will be like for you.

You won’t wear jeans, you really don’t like having anything in your hair (what should I do about your hair? You are a bit of a wild child in the hair department), you have very specific requirements for shoes, you hate clothing that requires any level of layering, and just in general are very fussy about clothing and what goes on your body. We actually bought seamless socks for you this year because socks had become such a problem.

You notice the smallest changes in your environment. Smells are intense for you. Change isn’t easy. You cling to routines with tenacity: we have sung the same 3 songs (Angels We Have Heard on High, Jingle Bells, and the made-up Rowan Joy song) at bedtime (in the same order) for nearly two years…and recently added the same book (used to do a different one each night) to the nightly routine (I’m a Big Sister!) You will not budge if I suggest a different song or book.

You had been dreaming and talking about having a princess birthday party since you turned 3…and I eventually compromised with you and planned a “Princess and the Pea” party for your 4^th birthday. Yesterday, all your friends arrived…dressed as princesses, princes, and a few peas. That morning, you tried on each of your dress-up princess dresses….and none of them felt right. One was too itchy, the other had sleeves that were ¾ length and you didn’t like the way it felt, the other had off-the-shoulder sleeves that wouldn’t stay in place. So you were the birthday girl at her princess party, dressed in normal clothes.

The irony of the message of “Princess and the Pea” was not lost on me! (only a princess is sensitive enough to feel a pea under 20 mattresses!)

You are a sensitive person, indeed…and I’m learning to understand you, because I am not so sensitive to my environment. You’ve helped me to understand your dad better, actually….before you came along, I never fully acknowledged the real sensitivities he has…and in turn, he constantly helps me to be more tolerant of your sensitivities. When I think back to your infancy, I wonder if some of your general discomfort had to do with your sensitive spirit. Did your clothes feel funny, was your diaper too tight, was your immature digestive system just too much to handle?

I’m enjoying seeing the positive aspects of raising a highly sensitive daughter. You are aware of your world and the people around you in a way many others are not. You make keen observations, feel things fully, and help me to stop and notice.

You love puzzles, love to read, love letters and words, love art, love moving your body (you recently mastered the hula hoop and jump rope), love baking with your Nana. You play really well by yourself…you make up games, songs, and use your imagination.

(rowan at 4 months)

You didn’t want to turn 4. Most kids I know are eager to hit their next birthday…you were apprehensive. This morning you told daddy that you were still 3…because you didn’t “feel” different. You were expecting to feel fundamentally different when you advanced an age…and were a bit distraught to wake up and feel the same. A few days before your birthday, you broke down in tears at bedtime about growing up. “I don’t want to grow up!” you exclaimed, huge tears pooling in your eyes, “I want to stay 3 forever!” I implored you about why…and one reason you gave is that you never want to live away from me. I told you that you could live with me as long as you want (knowing full well that by the teenage years, you’ll be eager to be on your own!) At least for now, I think that the idea of staying with me forever satisfied and comforted you.

Oh, to have you with me forever! Sweet child, the thought comforted me, too.
I love you, Rowan, and always will.