Birth Blessing

I have a great group of girlfriends from junior high school and high school. Many of us were friends as early as 7^th and 8^th grade…5 or 6 of us lived within a few miles of each other, and spent lots of time walking, hanging out, carpooling, watching 90210, and eventually driving our own cars and finding fun stuff to do. We had a really unique larger group of friends—probably over 20 of us, guys and girls, who hung out regularly and stayed out of trouble (for the most part!) We weren’t the coolest kids in school, but we had a lot of fun…and most importantly, I think we were respectful, kind, and fairly responsible for teenagers.

A handful from this group went on to Calvin College together... many of us have stayed in touch, many are still my best friends. One of these friends is Jenny, who moved to LA to attend Azusa Pacific for college and ended up staying there to live. She got married to Mick about 4 years ago, and they live in Culver City, a little town right near downtown LA. It has been fun this year to see Jenny (and Mick) several times…it’s only a 5 hours drive south, so we’ve been able to see each other more than usual!

Jenny and Mick just welcomed their first child, a son named Max, last week. A few weeks back, on June 12, Jenny’s friends from LA threw a “birth blessing” for her and invited me to attend. I decided to take a few days and drive down for it---when else would I be close enough to share these kinds of special occasions? Plus, I had heard about these “birth blessings” that her friends had a tradition of doing, and I was curious to see what it was all about.

The Birth Blessing is a small movement that seeks to bring back some ritual and tradition to the way we celebrate an impending birth. In our culture we have showers…which have basically become short get-togethers that are very focused on gift-giving and eating some finger foods. In some other cultures and traditions, women gather to help prepare a woman for the process of labor and delivery, celebrate the strength of women who endure so much physically during birth, and express their solidarity with the mother-to-be. There are lots of ways to do this, you can find lots of ideas on the internet, and Jenny’s friends have embraced this method instead of a traditional shower to acknowledge each new birth.

What a cool thing to be a part of! The evening started out with a fabulous meal…looked like something you’d get at a gourmet restaurant…and lots of leisurely talking and laughing. Then we moved outside to the candlelit backyard, sitting on blankets and pillows, and each person went around sharing how they knew Jenny, a significant memory they had of her, and then shared a “blessing” that we each wrote in advance. The blessings were then strung together for Jenny to take with her to the hospital during labor. Next, we soaked Jenny’s feet and took turns rubbing her hands, feet, back, and arms….and went around sharing our birth stories…and what we had learned from them. It was very positive in tone—not the typical horror story stuff that would make any mother-to-be afraid! Jenny had a chance to share her fears and excitement about birth, tears were shed, and words of encouragement shared. Then we all laid hands on Jenny’s belly and prayed and prayed. The host (Jenny’s friend from college, Shandy) made bracelets with a single bead on them for each of us to wear during the last few weeks of Jenny’s pregnancy…so that she would often come to mind and we could pray and think about her. Jenny got one, too, so that she could wear it during labor and remember all the women standing behind her. I must say that Shandy’s leadership through the whole birth blessing was a key to its meaning, relaxing atmosphere, and tone. Shandy has such a natural, mother-earth way about her and it made us all feel included and blessed.

It was amazing to hear all those birth stories….and see in one place how strong and determined and focused woman are. I know that it strengthened and prepared Jenny for her impending birth…and encouraged all of us in what it means to be a woman, mother, and friend.

Thanks for including me, Jenny. I am proud to be your friend and proud of how much courage you showed last week during Max’s birth!

To see a few more pics from the blessing, click here.